Breaking news: Obama just issued a new executive order that children who go trick or treating tonight will be required to give 50% of their candy to the federal government so that it can be redistributed to children who were too lazy to go get candy for themselves. Children who refuse to comply will face probable jail time, fines, interest and penalties, and confiscation of property. In addition, all children who wish to go trick or treating tonight must apply for a federal trick or treating liscense, and pay an annual trick or treating privilege tax of $400 U.S. annually. For the candy the trick or treaters are allowed to...uh, that the trick or treaters keep for themselves, there will be a United Nations tax of $1 per piece of candy to offset its "carbon footprint". Children who dress as a cross between Obama and Jesus Christ will qualify for an $8000 dollar tax credit toward the purchase of a new home.